Lemonade Anyone?

Recently I made quite the sacrifice based on the words of a friend. I was asked for help; which would require a huge change in my life. But I did it because I cared for my friend. I thought that we were on the same page of, 'we can team up and it will be a help to each other'. 

But it would not be long before odd things were said, contradictions, and the deal flip-flopped around as the what it would be. I attributed this behavior to the amount of duress my friend had been under for several years. 

In the end I felt like I got the rug pulled out from under my feet and have nothing to show for the sacrifices and support I gave to someone who I thought cared about me as much as I cared about them.

This sort of drama is something I am not accustom to. I tend to be a Hermit, a solitary creature. 
I don't need anyone really, so it not as if I do things for other people for self serving reasons. I take care of myself, and do everything I can for those I take under my wing and protect.

I can't seem to shake this from my plumes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not breaking down in tears and feeling sorry for myself. What buggers me up is the whole thing is just mind boggling. It does not make sense why things turned out the way they did. All I can come up with is that someplace along the way, something changed and I was not notified and a dispute irrelevant to the excuse was used as a catalyst....in other words, strung along until the opportunity to 'make issue' came along.

So to better understand things, I wanted to do a reading. Give me a new perspective on it that may help me shake it off. I used the 5 card Elemental spread as it is good for just about anything as it addresses all aspects in a simplistic manner.

MY Q: What is the true motivation and perspective had by this person?
Fire: High Priestess
Earth: Queen of Swords
Air: The Empress
Water: The Tower
Spirit: The Fool

I will start with a note about the Empress card. She is my Soul and Personality card. I must admit, I am not surprised to see the card, but at the same time, it is a little confusing.

About the Empress~ She is the one that is caring and nurturing. She has a deep compassion for all living creatures and nature in general. In traditional meanings of the cards, she is associated with the planet of Venus; love, beauty, art, and pleasure. Being ruled by Venus, she also associates with the signs of Taurus and Libra. 
She is the ultimate mother figure. 
This falls in the position of Air- about the mind and communication, thoughts and learning. Libra is an air sign, the sign of balance.
Now this can be seen a few different ways. Because it is my soul/personality card, it is expressing my place in this situation. That I was the kind and compassionate one. That I did what I did as a matter of love and protection for someone I cared about. If this card is taken to represent the mind of this individual, from where I sit and experiencing what happened, it is hard to say that they were compassionate in any way shape or form. Perhaps subconsciously, they know that this Empress nature I expressed was true and genuine. 


So what of the other female characters showing up. 

Fire - The High Priestess, we are both magical people, we both have an curiosity of the workings of the Universe from a mystical perspective. 
The High Priestess is one who has lived through experiences that most have not. This gives her an understanding about a great many things with a more wise perspective than the average person. Her wisdom comes from study and from experience. The Priestess in all her wisdom, knowledge and logic also has a strong intuitive side. Some times the truth in knowing is just knowing.
But the High Priestess is also a card of secrecy & hidden facts.
This is in the Fire position, representing actions, what drives the person or situation. 
Now, as mentioned, I relate to this archetype. She is often seen as an oracle, a mystic, occultist. I know that my intuition is sound, but I do not always listen to it. I can say I was not surprised by the eventual clash, I sensed something. In regards to hidden facts. I have a lot of facts that I was not able to share and what facts I was able to get across, fell upon deaf ears. Any logic I tried to convey was rejected. On the flip side, my intuition says that there where facts kept hidden from me. 
What I did see was a poor use of 'facts' as a defense.
"You offered to help me, and now you want to put a dollar amount on that? 
How does that work?"

Well, if this was a business deal a contract would have been made and if the terms of contract is not upheld, the one breaking the contract has to pay.

Earth - The Queen of Swords - That Cold Bitch!  

Falls in the Earth position, about physical, material and possessions.  This person is an Earth sign, not that it means anything, but figured I would mention it. I think she stole some of my art. I cannot seem to find my portfolio anywhere and I did not take it out anywhere. The 'help' agreement was supposed to be a benefit to both of us financially... and it involved buying a house - very earth! But now with the hindsight is 20/20, I can see how I was manipulated. There was a plan this person had all along and they fed me what they knew would hook me in and when it came the time to put those things into action, she totally changed the script to where it would benefit her and I would be totally used.

 

Water: The Tower

I see this to be self-serving. She knew her life was falling apart and in shambles and was desperate for
help and emotional support. She obviously did not care what happens/ed to me ultimately. The Tower is about drastic and unexpected change. Well, it was planned but for sure drastic. I gave up my job and my home. The unexpected aspect comes into play with the 'truth' coming out with her flip in the plan, as that was NOT the plan. I can say that she thought she had me by the balls and I would be forced to concede to her stipulations. Boy was she wrong. 

I had to laugh when she said, 'Where are you going to go with two dogs, a cat and a bird?'

I answered with, "That's never been a problem." 

She had her Tower moment when I informed her that I would be packing up my shit and leaving. Now all her 'plans' were in the toilet and she had NO support financially for the house she just bought.

NOTE: The deal was that we would go in as partners. She had the means to buy but not the income to support the monthly mortgage. I would 'catch-up' to her invested amount by covering the mortgage payment. When we reached equal equity then we would split the mortgage payment. She then changed things (and got really hostile during the conversation) and informed me that I would be paying 'rent' and none of that would go towards equity for me. The only way I would have any equity would be to give her a large lump sum. Hmm... well if I am paying your mortgage every month ($1,600), then how the hell am I supposed to be able to accumulate a large lump sum? 

In retrospect, I wonder if that monthly amount was even real and she inflated it just to make money off me.

 

Spirit: The Fool

She apparently did not think this through all the way. She took the 'shoot first, ask questions later' approach that was more like 'hook it (me) now, and figure out the details later'. She figured that I would be 'stuck' and have to bend to her terms, basically she thought she was 'good'.  Well, that did not work out for her at all! Somehow in her head she thought that she could 'Fool' me... and for a minute, she did. But once things got real, she had to rework the agreement to fit HER 'plans' and get me to conform. I'm sorry but I am a stubborn ass goat of a Capricorn and if what is proposed to me does not get me higher up the mountain, I am not doing it. 

She took a 'leap of faith' with deception and thought she would be OK and that I would forced to comply with her 'new' plan. She sure was the Fool in thinking that. 

 

Don't mess with a goat!